Young professional spins web and nets friends (5,500 of 'em)

The Star Ledger, February 22, 2006
BY JENNIFER WEISS

Feeling lonely and bored after she moved to Somerset County and started a new job in Edison in Middlesex County, Laura Occhipinti did what any resourceful, modern woman would do: She Googled.

"I did a huge search on the Internet trying to figure out how to make friends," Occhipinti, a warm, engaging 28-year-old, said recently.

Her former living arrangement in Bergen County had included roommates. In Somerset County, she lived alone. Not athletic enough to join a team, and not inclined to bar-hop solo, Occhipinti said she did not do much during her first weeks in her North Plainfield condominium.

"I was there a month," she said, "and I was going crazy."

Her online searches turned up little of interest -- Occhipinti said she unearthed singles groups, but she was seeking friends, not dates. So she did some research, and set up a group of her own, designed for like-minded Jerseyans. She dubbed it New Jersey Young Professionals.

Within two weeks, the group had about 100 members. In two years -- the group's second anniversary is today and Occhipinti planned celebratory events all week in Bridgewater, Morristown, Montclair, Red Bank, New Brunswick and Princeton -- membership has exploded, to more than 5,500.

"There was obviously some sort of need," said Occhipinti, a born organizer who studied psychology at Rutgers University.

Online communities are a widespread phenomenon, according to John Horrigan of the Pew Internet & American Life Project, a think tank that studies the impact of the Internet on people's lives. He said 22 million to 25 million Americans are active members of such communities.

Horrigan said he was not surprised to hear that a New Jersey group centered around young professionals had become so popular.

"Forty years ago, I guess there were the junior chambers of commerce and Rotary Clubs, and the kind of professional associations that probably would attract young people trying to make their way in their careers," Horrigan said. "Now, the Internet serves that function."

In her research, Occhipinti looked at other localized social groups and found several for young professionals throughout the country. Most were attached to a city -- Milwaukee, Tulsa and Seattle, for example, each had groups of their own. New York City had more than one.

But "New Jersey's very different" from other states, in that "there's no major city," Occhipinti said. And so the statewide organization was born. Catering to 21- to 39-year olds, the group has the same number of men and women, she said.

Occhipinti now plans 20 to 30 outings per month: three happy hours per week, one singles event per week, along with a smattering of comedy nights and theme parties, spread throughout the state. Some events cost money, but most are free.

Occhipinti also scans the group's lively message board, reads and responds to at least 50 e-mails a day, and advertises events for free by posting on the Web site Craigs- list and sending information to local newspapers.

She said she plans to offer a premium membership to NJYP soon along with the free basic membership, which will include access to member profiles and more. She also is working to launch a new Web site at www.njyp.org. She would like to see the group turn a profit, especially because she resigned from her job in December to run NJYP full time.

"I'm doing it very grassroots, out of nothing," Occhipinti said, adding that she is spending time, not cash, on the group.

At an event Saturday night at Glo, an upscale lounge in New Brunswick, Occhipinti sat by the door and greeted the dozens of NJYP members who came in.

Saturday's party was a "sticker soiree." Sheets of stickers with words like "sweetheart," "hulk- like," "angel" and "dazzling smile" were Occhipinti-engineered icebreakers, intended to give people a reason to speak to one another.

Jennifer Coyle, 25, a financial analyst who lives in Linden, went to the bar alone and was soon talking and laughing with a group of young men and women.

"I think it's difficult, after you graduate college, to meet people," Coyle said. "I felt like after I graduated college, everyone I met was married and had children."

Coyle said she was looking for similarly unattached, professional people, and perhaps for a friend or two to bring along to future events.

Irina Grafova, who also attended the party, said she was interested in meeting people close to her age who shared similar interests.

Grafova said she moved to Highland Park in September after finishing a degree at the University of Michigan. She did not have any family in the area, she said, and had heard about NJYP through a colleague at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.

"I'm not very much into going to the bars, but I do like this company and this group of people," Grafova said.

Ty Stramaglia, a 31-year-old chef from Hillsborough, said he was back after attending a similar NJYP event a month ago.

"I think it's nice, because when you have something that's organized, it's so much easier than going to a club and trying to talk to somebody that doesn't want to be bothered with you," Stramaglia said. "You don't know what you're getting into."

Diane Abramowitz, 25, is a lifelong Jersey resident who said she came to the event because she is always looking to meet new people.

"I have a good amount of friends," Abramowitz said, "but I love to expand my social circle and meet people from all over the state who do different things."

Occhipinti said she has heard from a number of grateful people since the group began, and has spotted a few couples she believes formed through the group. She also has made a number of acquaintances, and a few of the kind of friends "you'd invite to your wedding."

So while she is nervous about building NJYP into something more, Occhipinti also is excited.

"I guess it was, first I fulfilled my own needs," Occhipinti said. "Then, it became a hobby. Now, it's kind of taken over."